Omega Editorial #7 - Sept. 10, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME?
I have some terrible news to pass along to all of you: I recently had a birthday.
I know for some of you birthdays are probably still joyous affairs where you gather with a group of friends and take part in fun activities involving alcohol and ice cream cake, but I’m now at an age where I fear my birthday like the plague.
On the bright side, I turned 29 this year. (Yes, I’m actually that old.) 29 is kind of hard to hate. It’ll be a year before I need to really be afraid.
It’s the milestone birthdays, the round numbers, that generally make me want to vomit. This birthday wasn’t as bad as some past milestones.
At the time, turning five seemed great. Everyone loves a birthday when they’re that young, right? I particularly liked it because it meant I got to go to school. Would you believe that a young David Ford was actually looking forward to getting homework? I honestly couldn’t wait to have school work to bring home with me! It wasn’t until years later that I realized my feelings as a five-year-old were ugly and wrong.
I still remember turning 10 and hearing my mom cheerfully say, “No more single digits!” Even at my relatively young age I knew that things would never be the same, that things had changed for the worse.
15 passed without much of a hitch, though it did usher in my awkward phase. I don’t think anyone’s experienced an awkward phase to rival mine. I’m still waiting for it to end.
When I turned 20, I felt like I was on top of the world. I had a new girlfriend, I had a decent job (OK, I delivered pizza for Panago, but at the time it was a good job for a struggling student) and had recently started university. I was ready to take on the world.
Then 25 hit. I was in a different city, I didn’t like my job (bussing tables at The Keg), my girlfriend and I were weeks away from breaking up and I was barely attending university. Turning 25 brought wholesale changes for me. If there’s such a thing as a “quarter-life" crisis, I was experiencing one.
But the in-between years are easy. Every birthday since my 25th has been OK. Sure, the celebrations are getting considerably less rowdy, but I’m learning to live with that.
As I turn 29, I’m dating the greatest girl of my dating career. I’ll finish my degree this year, which is no small accomplishment for me. And I’ve got a job that will help propel me forward in my career.
But will all that be enough to get me through my next birthday?
I'll just stay 29 forever