Mr. Advice Guy #18 - Sept. 24, 2008

Dear Mr. Advice Guy,
My boss thinks he’s amazingly attractive and hits on all the female staff, even though he stinks like coffee and cheap cigarettes. How should I tell him where to go and how to get there without getting canned?
Awkward Employee

Dear Awkward,
If only he smelled of alcohol and expensive cigarettes, am I right? Ahhh...the enchanting aroma of expensive cigarettes. Few women can fight it’s irresistible magnetism. But I digress.
If you continue to use middle-aged woman slang like “where to go and how to get there” or “getting canned”, the problem will most likely take care of itself. I can only assume that your boss isn’t really into making a pass at someone who sounds like his mom.
If that doesn’t work, move on to plan B: make yourself as unattractive as possible.
You know how usually you shower before you go to work? Stop that immediately. In fact, stop showering all together.
And you can forget about brushing your teeth. As they say, fresh breath is the devil’s playground.
Watch the way you dress, too. Whatever your work uniform might be, leave it in your closet. Instead, show up to your workplace in baggy sweatshirts, ill-fitting sweatpants and slippers. You know how some girls think they look comfy and cute in sweatpants and a sweatshirt? They’re wrong.
Follow my advice and it should keep away your creepy boss and other “Johnny-come-lately’s”, or whatever you and your knitting circle would call them.