Omega Editorial #5 - Aug. 27, 2008

LIVING OUT MY FANTASIES
I recently took part in a fantasy football draft. This will be my second year as part of a keeper league started by Pete Lucarotti and his friends. You may remember Lucarotti as the guy I hung out with last year to make myself look cool in comparison.
Anyway, there’s no money on the line in this league, which was a good thing for me last year as my “Flying Vandelays” ended up finishing sixth out of 10 teams.
I blame my inexperience for my team’s lack-lustre performance last year. I made some rookie mistakes on draft day and they came back to haunt me once the season started. But I primarily blame Marvin Harrison, who had by far the worst season of his career. Curse you, Harrison!
The low-point of last season came when I lost to Lucarotti in the playoffs. His upstart “Locks of the Week” handled my favoured Vandelays easily. Believe me, that was a hard loss to take.
So I vowed to be better prepared for this year. I kept track of anything NFL-related since some time in June. I printed out lists of expected player draft positions from five different websites. I bought a fantasy football magazine and read it from cover to cover. I made lists of guys I liked and hated at each position.
When draft day finally came, I felt ready. I had my whole draft mapped out, along with a number of contingency plans in case of emergency.
Because it’s a keeper league, each team keeps five players from the year before. I didn’t have a very strong team going into the draft, so I knew I had to nail this.
The first two rounds went exactly according to plan. I managed to draft Santonio Holmes (who I think is going to have a huge year) in the first round, and then take Thomas Jones (running behind a much-improved offensive line) in the second.
That’s when it got ugly.
Lucarotti called me and between talking to him and trying to make my picks, I completely lost control. Suddenly I was taking Jeremy Shockey over Dallas Clark. I reached on the Green Bay defense and waited too long on David Garrard. I actually drafted Tarvaris Jackson as my back-up quarterback.
As I sit here, hoping for injuries to everyone else’s players, I realize my error. I should never have answered the phone when Lucarotti called. I blame him for my failed draft.
I’ll have my revenge. The Flux Capacitors will be victorious over Cornelius Cash in week five.
I’ll just need a big day from Marvin Harrison.
Bring on the season